I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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