If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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