What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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