dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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