Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
