imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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