theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NoShamevember. You game?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
