finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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