conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
