Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry yo_mamma hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(703): View more from Virginia

There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.

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(703): View more from Virginia

She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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(253): View more from Washington

Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.

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(214): View more from Texas

Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...

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