Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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