So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
