I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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