She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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