Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
