hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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