Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick very happy bro
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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