The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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