It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
