let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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