oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
