You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
