So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Randomize
