I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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