I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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