Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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