Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize