oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
