I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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