I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
