I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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