i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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