My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
