Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
