Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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