I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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