I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm getting married
To pizza
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
