I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
