He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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