i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
