At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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