hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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