I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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