i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize