I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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