Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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