I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
