Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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