Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I wear drunk well.
Randomize