her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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