Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
