Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
