ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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