No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
