wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
