my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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